baRTney's world

Mad about IYERS...:-)

2010-08-24T04:30:00.000-07:00

Hi friends,

Well this one is dedicated to all my tambrahm friends or to be more specific Tamil IYER friends and ofcourse my cousins who are gonna have a great time recollecting encounters with my paati...:-)

Have you ever wondered why your PAATI(grandmother in iyer tamil) starts screaming at you, when you are about to place the curd near rice on the table???

or you might've heard her screaming when you are about to place NEI(ghee) on the table near rice,rasam or sambhar.. the list goes on for many such innocent actions of yours and the only words you get to hear is "PATHU","MADI","ECHIL",etc.....

Now, PATHU....what the hell is it??

You may ask..Hey RT, does it mean the number 10??

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It has deeper meanings to it and a history that traces back to the 18th century and has been passed and restored with all its glory..:-)

A detailed study on these customs.....

Custom 1:

What is PATHU ???

Ans: As the name suggests, it is not the number ten, but it is something as dangerous as 10^10 and can make your paati dance about it even in her dreams.

Now I ask my paati, "Paati, Pathu na yenna?"(what is PATHU?)

She says in a comical sense "vombothu ku aduthu varuthu thaan pathu..:-P.."(the number after nine is ten,man iyers can be lame at times!)

I just yawn at her reply and ask her to answer honestly, doing all the emotional blackmail saying, we'll never know it, if you don't tell us...that's when she starts the history of pathu.

In olden times, the food which was cooked everyday was seperated from food which did not require cooking, ok those days there was a reason behind this: the uncooked food doesn't get spoilt that easily,but the cooked food gets spoilt when it comes in contact with the uncooked food.Now of course we have technologies like refrigerator and these things should not matter much..:-)

Anywas back to the customs, items like sambhar,rasam,rice,curry,kootu,etc which my paati cooks in large quantities everyday require cooking techniques like boiling it,stirring it,etc and come under the "PATHU" category.

Where as items like curd,paayasam(though I don't get the logic cos ultimately milk was also boiled..chuck it!),NEI(madrasi ghee, okay now this is also made by boiling the vennai, chuck it again!),etc come under the "NON-PATHU" category.

I hope with this, the definition of PATHU and NON-PATHU becomes clear.Here we discuss the basic rules all you tambrams should be aware of regarding PATHU:

Rules of PATHU :

1. Never keep the PATHU items near the NON-PATHU items. Make sure you buy a dining table big enough, so that these items can easily be seperated from each other(I think that's the only criteria,my paati will have before buying one).

2. Never touch the NON-PATHU items without washing your hands, especially after touching the PATHU items. If you do so, the food will be thrown(depends on my paati's mood but if we insist not to,then she keeps it for us to eat!), no matter how tasty it is,she will not consume it and nor will let my tata consume it.Okay now washing in their case means just merely touching water with the tip of your fingers...:-P

Consequences:

1. If by chance, a NON PATHU item, touches a PATHU item on the table, woah look at the fate of the NON PATHU boy now, he becomes a PATHU boy!!(ROFL!)

2. Also, if a NON-PATHU item is touched without washing your hands after touching the PATHU items, again it is awarded the honourable status of a PATHU item.

True stories:

Victim no.1: Aarthi Shankaran

One hot summer afternoon, this girl comes back from college early and after having a quick wash sits on the table and starts helping herself for lunch innocently, not knowing the life-changing incident that she is about to face. She puts some curry,kootu and then finally rice on her plate(cos it is a rule that, you shouldn't put rice on empty kalam=plate=tattu) and decides, its time for some NEI(madrasi ghee) cos it always feels great to have rasam rice with NEI. She reaches to take the NEI and hears a demon-like voice(PAATI's ofcourse,at times to make things look more dramatic,my paati takes out a weird voice) screaming "PATHU,PATHU,PATHU" and she innocently ignores it saying "PANANDU,PANANDU,PANANDU". Had she known what she had actually invited, she would have never replied back that way,anyways back to the scene, she touches the NEI and there comes her PAATI, so hurt and unable to stand the sight of her PETHI(grand daughter) touching the NEI without washing hands, just keeps the NEI aside and forever that NEI got ignored and never got the royal treatment it was meant to get.

Now, I know that's one sad and life-changing incident that happened in RT's life and maybe that's the reason she has been so traumatized, that she took such a big decision of writing this blog and educating her friends and cousins who still are as blank as blank could be..:-P

Victim no.2: Aishwarya Dandapani

It was dinner time and all of us were sitting on the dining table and we felt lucky enough, cos our paati was busy watching serials(which she always does,other than meals time, for obvious reasons that she has to have an eye on us!! and find reasons to isolate innocent food items!)anyways so we were doing all the crime on Earth, touching everything with the same hand without washing,since she wasn't around...woah and there she was, like a villain's entry in the climax, comes and discovers that the Curd has been placed near Rasam, how on Earth can that happen,that's what she thought and that curd was isolated and duhh isolation in her terms means that neither she nor my tata(grand father) will ever consume it after that, eventhough its fresh, they'll make another fresh batch and then have it and we are the victims as always to consume it.

Aishwarya and her best friend RT will never forget these small incidents, that taught them life-time lessons about PATHU and precautions and steps that should be a must for every IYER kids having PAATI's who constantly scream PATHU.

Victim no.3: Deepaa Sundararaman

Though her story does not have a sad ending, she was having dinner and helping herself a couple of days back and touched a non-pathu item(okay now she has never touched curd in her life and neither does she take Nei n all, so she doesn't have much problems to worry about in her case, cos the lil that she eats, mostly falls under the pathu category!!..:-P)and for a change she touches the NON-PATHU item and her Paati just tells her"aduthavaalum sapadanum thodathe"(others also have to eat,don't touch!) which was just a sweet warning. Her paati says it in a decent manner and closes the matter there, which indicates that Deepaa has a bright opportunity of learning from her mistakes the nicer way, unlike us...:-(

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We guys have adequate information about PATHU, now you may ask, RT(the genius!) what the hell's "PAZHAM PATHU"????

Ans: RT says, woah big question guys, but small answer. It is nothing but the PATHU carried forward to the next day. Which basically means that if I have cooked something like rice today and have preserved it so that I can use it tomorrow, it will be given the most prestigious name it can ever dream of - "THE PAZHAM PATHU". So a PATHU evolves into a PAZHAM PATHU after a day.

Custom 2:

What's MADI? (An interesting question raised by my friend DEVIL)

Ans: It basically means, avoiding contact with unwashed garments,which in turn my paati puts it as unwashed people and she runs away from us every morning, as if we are dying to touch her. Wait for my next blog for more information on this.

Custom 3:

What is "ECHIL"?

Ans : It means , avoiding contact with your saliva at any cost, which results in eating habits (of my paati) like throwing food towards the mouth and catching it with your mouth.(PS: notice your grandparents who follow these rules,eat once, you'l know the answer!) The next blog about these customs are also on its way....:-) This can also be noticed, the way we iyers are supposed to consume coffee after aathifying in the davara and drinking the coffee by not sipping the tamblar and directly pouring that hot thing into your throat.Man Iyer guys are risky people!

There are many more practices which are totally illogical when given a thought, but still followed with the same intensity by our Paatis.

Custom 4:

Now this one's awesome, I remember my paati telling me to "ECHIL YEDUTHUfy"(clean the spillings on the dining table) and I take a cloth,remove the spillings and throw the particles in the bin and sprinkled water to clean the table and I hear a voice screamin "Appa naan yaaruta poi solluven nee kariyam pannara azhaga!!"(whom do I go, tell the way u work-duhh in a negative sense!) and I was like what's wrong in it and the next day my paati cleans all the left over with her palm and then sprinkles water and cleans with her palm again(honestly,this makes the table dirtier!)and finally wipe it dry with a swab cloth specially kept out for the purpose and then rinse the cloth and dry it out for future use.

How do you like this guys?? Any other queries related to Iyer paati rules, contact me....:-) Always at you service...have a good day...:-)

PS : After reading this blog, remember the power is yours, you are not innocent anymore, don't put yourself in that situation again, where in you become a victim,like I was once....:-)..:-)..:-)

26th of January,2007

2009-08-16T05:53:00.000-07:00

26th of January,2007...

The Indian Republic day...I would like to dedicate this blog to my friend Vinodhini Ravishankar...

A few words about her..Vinu-i don't know how to start..i saw her in the year 2006,the 1st day of my new school,Vikaasa..she seemed to be this very quite girl who was always in her own world...she used to sit and write letters to her friends during class hours..she sat around everybody n observed people but never spoke much..to be very honest i did not like her much in the beginning..maybe thats the reason i never spoke to her for the first 6 months of school..and then suddenly with time both of us started talkin to each other, basically cos most of the time Mr.RJK used to punish us together..and then came the time Ms.Esther made us sit together in the last bench..man must tell you those days were sooo much fun...and then of course Mr.RJK again changed our place to 1st bench left corner...God that was the best place i ever sat during my school days..i did everything there..be it eating lollipop sitting under the teacher's nose or throwing chits,balls of paper/foil,rockets..everything..

Me and Vinu have had the time of our lives sitting there...we ate,laughed,made fun of teachers..especially drawing diagrams describing tHINGS..and then the Selvarani ID card incident..Mr.RJK used to catch us every single day for something or the other..and with days we became so shameless that we thought we attended RJK's class just to listen to his funny dialogues,laugh @ him and eventually he would throw us out of the class...

Ok now back to the theme..26th of January will definitely be a very memorable day for all 3 of us.. ( Vinu, Pree n RT)..cos that was the day we discovered to what extent we coudl go for having fun..lol..:-P..

The day started with a special assembly..including events like the flag hoisting ceremony..

The 3 of us were assuming that there would be some army officer as Chief guest for the function,but then discovered it was our director Mr.Beboy for which they were giving so much effect as if the PM of India is coming..lol..:-P

Then came the boring songs by the school chorus..it was boring cos the songs were in tamil and we didn't know the lyrics..lol...During this time we were having awesome fun passing comments,making fun of people sincerely singing the song..and then when we discovered Tamil akka(Mrs.Tamil Malar) noticing us for quite a long time and staring @ us with that grumpy look of hers..we decided to control ourselves for sometime..

Then came the GOD FATHER-Mr.Sudhakar's (our principal's) super boring speech..there is something about that man i must tell you..he uses words in such a manner that makes me feel -that he browses the dictionary everytime before the speech and then shortlists the words he should use and then uses them...and the best part about his speeches were the fact that he used 2 tell us the meaning of the word after some minutes of him letting us guess the meaning..so now u guys can imagine how tedious his BHASHAN's used to be for us..too much to take.. early in the morning!!!..His Bhashan's made us yawn 74 times @least..so by the time v reach class v r half dead!

Okay now coming back to the ceremony..Mr.Sudhakar was as usual giving his speech on Republic day and how we should behave as responsible citizens of the country and blah blah...I was passing fultoo comments on his lecture cos of which people around me went nuts laughing and this distracted Mr.Sudhakar and hence he paused his speech and began to stare @ us..cos of which the entire school did the same..and we got embarrassed and stopped laughing!.but still all of us did have that wicked smile on our faces!!..but HATS OFF to that man..he just went back to his boring speech mode and continued...it was like slow death for us!

Now comes the interesting part..That day since we were in higher secondary and our term exams were nearing we had extra classes!..so we were sent to the junior block for attending classes..the junior classroom was made for kids..it had small benches in which people like me,vinu n pree could fit in easily but it was a difficult task for people like Sarchu,Geetanjali,A.P.Archana and others..most of the girls of my class belonged to that category!!..lol..:-P..but they managed to squeeze in!..

Me n Vinu ran 1st to catch da last bench and in front of us were the 3 walls of class XI-B..A.P.Archana, Geetanjali and Muthukalyani..lol....it was impossible for a teacher to find us..cos v were so tiny n de wer so huge and moreover our benches smaller..as always Maya was jealous of me sitting with Vinu(IGAF-I give a F***)..

The night before..all of us had decided to get our cellphones to school( it was prohibited!)..n schools in Tamil Nadu r strict and moreover the kids were also scared unlike kids in the metro..these days taking cellphones 2 school is something very normal..and as always it was my plan..! ha ha..i was such a brat..i was famous for all the wrong things during school days!

The 1st class was of Mrs.Selvarani..we used 2 call her Selva..man she was like "JIGGLYPUFF"..she had the powers to make us sleep within seconds..then we decided enough is enough..we took out our cellphones and started texting each other..Vinu sent me a msg saying "HI"..she was sitting next 2 me..:-P..i replied to her saying.."HI,selva's putting too much blade"(tamil slangs!)..den v started chatting and finding ways to make the class tolerable..i had a bag full of chocolates and Maya(our ever chocolate sponsor) had many chocolates as always..and we started eating chocolates ..with time almost every1 including the guys were having chocolates n texting each other..then finally selva's class got over..n we were like..thank god..v escaped slow poison!!

Then was Mr.NMS's class..he was the loud speaker..man he used 2 teach us and all the classes in our corridor could listen 2 what he speaks..so it is impossible 4 anyone 2 even think of sleeping in his class..so most of the time his classes used 2 b our hogging class! I still remember Gautham changing into a new sim and troubling NMS by calling him every 2mins..and everytime NMS picks up he could hear his own voice and said.."APPA echo adikuthu pa"..lol..:-P..and gau kept giving him missed calls till the time NMS got bugged and switched off his phone...So then we started eating Vinu's lunch Puliyotharai n Vadaam..

And after the lunch we started discussing about Mr.RJK's ever pregnant tummy and when he's going to deliver and who's going 2 b his Gynie..lol..and after some serious discussion, we gave that privilige 2 Maya's mom(she was a gynie)..The entire class was silent for few seconds..but the only noise people could here was- me giggling and lmao..the reason for this was Vinu sent me a msg sayin.."hey pls pray RJK gives birth by normal delivery..coz he's very sensitive to pain and scissorian is very painful..and if he suffers from pain, I won't be able to bare my lover boy's pain!.."..lol..reading this msg in that situation was really funny 4 me!..but luckily i was saved cos f the 3 walls of XI-B..

Then was my fav class of my fav teacher..Mrs.Tamil Malar aka Tamil akka aka TM..oh man but it was like overdose of seeping pills..

1.Selva

2.NMS

3.Akka

Vinu got so bored by that time she started talking over the phone to her friend in OOty..sitting under the bench..it was so funny cos it was something impossible during school days especially in Tamil Nadu..kids in the North n west r way more advanced..they do much more..lol..:-P

I started feeling hungry and opened my tiffin which was roti n Bhindi..i opened it on my bench thinking the 3 walls of XI-B were there..so no worries!!lol..they were our saviours..but then suddenly Mr.RJK came from the back door which was near the bench we were sitting in and I did not know what to do..i froze..cos if i take the tiffin n keep it down he'll find out..so i just kept a book covering the food and pretended as if i'm reading..he smelled food and was asking TM if she was eating (@ times RJK thinks he's funny and attractive..so he asks lame questions like these 2 female teachers..)..lol..:-P

Man that was close.. the day was too long..and we still had Mr.RJK's class left...and we were his ever targets in class..anything happens..its going to be RT n Vinu who have done it..n he would let Vinu go cos of her innocent looks..so it was me in the end who would have 2 listen 2 his boring lectures on discipline and how to behave in class..lol..:-P

I got so bored that i started calling up people and was giving them running commentary about class..1st was Gaurav Gupta and then was JM..and with time we got sooo frustrated me and Vinu started taking flames...of teachers...i won't mention the names..lol..

Then was Mr.RJK's class..the best part about his classes were his outstanding dialogue delivery talents...some of which included dialogues like.."Appa nenjuleya yeri midichiduvaen"..which means i will stamp on ur chest..lol...literal translation in english sounds way funnier than that in Tamil..lol...

That day was a LEGENDARY day..cos that was the 1st time in our lives we dared to give a blank page..lol..it was maths test and me n Vinu were blank..so both of us decided to write our names and gave it to Mr.RJK..lol...n we did get blasted..but it was all a part of high school life then..!

Vinu-without you my high school life would not have been so much fun ..cos i had the time of my life..and do not have a single regret...the trio..u me and pree rocked big time..our conferences..our silly discussions..gossips..us teasing Sarchu..our exam time fun..and talking all night over the phone-planning wat 2 study..but by the tym v start its already dawn!..getting blasted by the teachers together..getting punished...everything has been so memorable and gets a big smile on my face..thanks Vinu..all the very best...have fun..miss you..:-(

The two vital people in my life!

2009-08-05T16:22:00.000-07:00

Preethi and Anirudh.

9th of April,1991...began the journey of two very cute n sweet kids-Rt n Prt..the identical twins..n 26th of June,1996-the cutest kid ever-anirudh was born...

Intro with pree-We were made together n spent the next 17yrs together..We opened our eyes "together"..we saw the world "together"..played "together",studied "together",fought "together".n did everything "together"..well we even finished our schooling !...that was the year 2008..

I still remember both of us feeling bad after completing our 10th thinking..that we would have to study in seperate classes..since she was interested in commerce n me in science..but it turned out that..she also took science ..so a bonus of 2 yrs with her..though those two yrs weren't very great b/w us leading to many misunderstanding,fights...i honestly feel it was all my mistake..but still we made each other's life..

We knew that @ any point of life..we were always there for each other..but still i feel sorry for all those days i left her alone..i'm sorry once again!!..we never wanted additional friends or someone around us...we always had each other and of course ani..the 3 of us made such a perfect trio...i must tell u..i really miss those days..those silly sibling fights,those moments of anger(caused by jealousy),those moments of sharing..everything is so memorable..the best days of my life..n i still feel they are..cos everytime i think about them..i get the two best things-"A SMILE" and "A drop of TEAR"..

I cannot explain in words the feeling i have for these two..but yes...it is an amazing feeling..everytime i think of them..it just tells me a million stories...there are endless episodes in our lives.like us dancing together..the pokemon game..watching tv together..playing computer..n many more...

ABout Ani-...Anirudh is my younger brother who also happens to be an excellent cricketer..he lives n breathes cricket..he is an extremely talented n street smart kiddo..i really wish the very best for both of them..n i miss both of you a lot..:-)....

All the three of us have learnt many things from each other..like from preethi i've learnt to be more disciplined in life and concentrate n not to get distracted..where as from ani i have learnt things like to be calm n good..u get all u want this way..!!..many more things....What i'm today is mostly because of these two..n obviously my parents..but still..I grew with them..n also developed myself with them..so what i'm today is just a part of what they actually are!!...Cheers to us..!!...love you both..!

PS-pree reduce crying..i know u don't cry these days..but still i hate it ..when you achieve things by crying..like you want something..you don't get it..you cry..which means i have to give you..it is very irritating..
Ani- u r perfect..be the way u are!!